Monday, June 29, 2009

Embedded emotions!

So, finally with the declaration of my Graduation results, my 3-year long association with MCM came to its destined end!

Hmm! Yeah,probably!

Though I'm still at a loss to get drenched in this reality. I wonder why this crude reality din't hit me hard as a rude shock as anticipated...?
Why am I being so indifferent to the memories of countless good and happy times that I spent there?
Why am I not getting jitters thinking of the tough times that made me undergo an unfathomable transformation?
Why am I being so apathetic to all these?
Am I going insane?

Oh,no! Not again! No more!

Sometimes, time plays havoc with safely-embedded memories and emotions!
Yes,it does! Big time!
Guess in my case too, time has spilled its magic! It has made me fall in love with an all-together different life, amidst a new environment brimming over with numerous new and unfamiliar faces. As I firmly believe, time is a Healer!
It has taken away those dreary memories that once brought tears to my eyes.
It has helped me get over those filthy memories that once ruined my mood, and deterred my spirit.
It has blessed me yet again, with a zeal to survive and come out victorious!

I'm so happy that I'm getting over my past and embracing my present and future with a new whiff of dreams and aspirations.
I'm looking forward to a new life! Yes, New Life!
New life in a new home, in a new city, in a new university, in a new workplace with new faces and new experiences around.
Frankly speaking, I don't feel rudderless or directionless any more, and that's reason enough to celebrate,I suppose!

Friday, June 26, 2009

Ever wondered how different life would have been,had we been different from our present selves?

Had we been bereft of any of the essentials that complete us as an entity?

Do you think life would have been unrelated or you wouldn't have just cared to bother?

In case you haven't ever given it a thought, spend some quality time pondering over it. Trust me, you wouldn't regret channelizing your time and energy meditating over this sensitive issue!

Though, be prepared to be jolted out of your romantic dispositions in the very first brush with reality!

We all love ourselves. Don't we?

We look-up to ourselves in some way or the other. No matter how often or rare we acknowledge this fact, but somewhere deep inside our hearts, we really admire ourselves for a zillions things unsaid and unheard!

No matter how rough life gets for us, yet given a chance to change places with someone else, we wouldn't really appreciate the idea. We would rather choose to enjoy a tumultuous roller-coaster ride of life's ups and downs that would come our way, than putting ourselves in someone else's shoes! Wouldn't we?

Then why don't we apply the same principles in our behaviour while dealing with an immensely sensitive strata of our society, People with Disability?

It was a recent session on Disability conducted at my workplace by our very own, Norliana that moved me to silent tears of disgust and humiliation and urged me to come up with this post.

Despite bold claims on the part of humanity of according a fair and just treatment to all the classes in the society, a predominant streak of bias and inequality runs through its length and breadth. Lets accept it outright, that these towering claims fall short of seeing the light of the day in ways more than one!

We are yet to accept and embrace the crude reality! We are yet to embrace the so-called People with Disability with open arms and welcoming hearts. Whether we confess it or not, somewhere down the lane, knowingly or unknowingly we tend to look down upon them with elements of pity and sympathy! Don't we..?

Out of pity, we tend to offend our disabled fellow beings with uncalled-for aid and assistance. We often push ourselves to such an extent that we almost invade their privacy and in turn end up making them feel incapacitated or incomplete..

(to be continued..)

Sunday, June 21, 2009

A dedication to my Daddy dearest!

Yay! Its Father's Day today..The entire blogsville is blooming with special dedications to fathers' around the globe..I just couldn't resist myself in pouring out some of my cherished memories with my daddy dearest!

This one's for you, Dad!
I know it would be really silly to say these tried and tested statements that 'you're the best dad in this world', ,'the greatest father of all times' and so on and so forth.But what do I do Dad, when these are the most appropriate words that ring in my ears whenever I think of you..

Trust me, I wouldn't have been who I am today, had you not been there..had I not been born to you..had I not been a part of this lovely family that we reside in!
Irrespective of the fact, that we rarely communicate these days but still somewhere deep down my heart, you're always thought of, cared, missed, respected, adored and remembered!
I can't even begin to tell you that what you mean to me! Giving words to such thoughts would be like giving dimensions to my respect and feelings for you..
No matter how rarely we share our lives and talks these days, still you're someone whom I look upto in every sphere of my life..

I often address you by these funny names..Dad, Daddu, Pops, Popsy, Pa-pa,Pa and the likes,but trust me, nothing can beat the adrenaline rush in my heart when you call me 'Betu'. Its the best feeling in this world whwenever I get to hear such sweet adresses from you..I find myself smiling everytime you call me 'Aenu'..
Oh, that reminds me that how earnestly I want to thank you for giving me two of the best names in this world - Mohita & Aena! They are as unique and spelndid as you! I just love them!

Dad, you've given me every probable comfort in this world that I could have ever asked or desired for. And I mean it from the bottom of my heart, from the deepest core in my heart. Be it clothes, gizmos and gadgets, hefty pocket-moneys, lavish meals at fancy restaurants, fun-filled vacations, expensive Birthday parties, an envious lifestyle, everything. I know it would be stupid to say, but I won't really mind if life ahead gets tougher because you've already showed me the BEST times that I could have ever comprehended. Thanks for adding such wonderful times and memories to my life. They'll be cherished through out!

Sometimes when I find it difficult to sleep at night, I am often perturbed by the memories of some beautiful moments that we shared years ago. Memories of 'you & me' sharing some unforgettable times together!
I still remember them so precisely Dad, But do you?!!
Do you remember our balloon-fights, or our badminton-sessions, or the cycling rounds that we undertook..? Do you remember those aimless strolls that we undertook during late evenings in Jabalpur, when you held me by my shoulder walking by my side..How I blurted out everything concerning my life and friends during these walks..?!! Do you remember those crazy shopping times when we literally 'shopped till we dropped'..? I still remember that how you bought countless dresses for me in one single go a lot of times.. Do you remember our Remote-fights..with both of us yearning to take charge of the TV in lieu of catching up with our respective shows..? Do you remember how crazy it used to be, everytime we used to visit my school on the day of the results..with me clinging by your side, apprehensive about the awaited scores..and everytime we would come out beaming smiles with some great remarks and appreciations showered on us by my teachers, do you care to remember all these moments..?

Do you care to bother to relive those memories time and again..?!!
Atleast, I do and would continue doing them forever. Needless to say, they are truly the most prized possessions of my life..

Thank you Dad, for everything.
Despite the fact that I don't really express my feelings in front of you so often, yet I truly love and respect you from the bottom of my heart!
You're the BEST DAD in this world and I am proud to be your DAUGHTER!

(Sorry for a day's delay!!)

Untamed Friendships!

Hi Folks! This is a confessional post. So, incase you don't know me personally, there are probable chances of your getting bugged..

The fragility and unpredictability of friendships in the recent times takes its toll on me every now and then. I have had friends going through such rough times, succumbing to their after-effects effortlessly..

But now probably, its my turn to go through the same vicious circle of dwindling relationships!

Its always good to have friends but its even better to have 'good' friends. Contrary to my earlier notions, that there's always enough room for improvement during the friendship span, I now strongly detest and discard this myth!

People are bound to remain the same irrespective of the amount of love, care and affection that you shower on them. They are destined to show their true traits somewhere down the lane. And you just can't evade this reality. I have been lucky enough to have come across such people, this early in my life. Though I ended up learning this reality the hard way!

Its difficult in fact, its tormenting in the beginning to see some treasured relationships falling apart so easily. Its heartbreaking to realise that the good times spent together would never be created again nor would be the memories, that would continue to haunt your bereaved soul for days, months and years to come.

Yet, I wonder why I feel so relieved and rescued when I think about those memories, yes plain "memories"...I cann't tag them as 'unforgettables'! Rather some years down the lane, I would love to erase them from the spectrum of my memory , and would hate to relive them ever.

Dedicated to my life and friends in MCM!
My special thanks to all those people who made me tougher!
Trust me,your harassment brought the 'best' out of me!

Saturday, June 20, 2009

Isn't it amazing when you get to hear something good about yourself from someone whom you least expected?!!!

Well, it definitely is a pleasant surprise for someone super-sensitive like me!
Its reason enough for me to celebrate, and go around basking in the glory of that short-lived moment:)

Monday, June 15, 2009

Am I Content..?!!

Sometimes I find myself raising the same questions time and again..

Why am I becoming so self-obsessed?!
But then, is it really self-obsession or just a figment of my imagination?
I believe that its quite obvious for anyone of my age to spend some handsome amount of time and energy in pondering over the future course of life!
I guess so!

May be, its not an obsession any more.
May be, I might get over it in a couple of days. Even if I don't,what's the harm?
Its never bad investing some considerable amount of time in one's future!

For the time being,I am enjoying my stint as a Copy writer.
By the way, isn't it ironical that a copy writer is running short of time in updating her blog on a daily basis???!!!
I know, its highly embarrassing!! Trust me folks, I am all geard up for being a regular updater next time onwards. .At least,I am working on it. Don't really know, whether I would be keeping in sync with the aspirations or not!

All said and done,
I would just like to add that I just love writing!
No matter, how often or how rare..I just love coming back to this place time and again!

Sunday, June 7, 2009

Idyllic Ruminations !

It has been a hectic weekend! Yeah, Weeke-n-d!

Yes, even more hectic and troublesome than the rest of the week..
Truly speaking,I hated this week..I really did! It almost deprived me of my usual vitality and vigour, happiness and wittyness. In short, it deprived me of my TRUE self!

Frequent pangs of guilt, mistrust and dwindling self confidence finally took their toll on my health. Not to mention, the scorching heat of the summers that almost ruined my mood every single day. I just hope that it rains some time soon. I really do!

May be, the climate was in sync with my mood this very week. Undecided and tumultous, dejected and fickle-minded..I don't really know what actually made me feel so low but whatever it was, it definitely RUINED everything- my mood, my health, my professional efficiency, my reading habits and so on and so forth! I am in no mood of experiencing it in the near future!

But yes,it did teach me something valuable in the end. I learnt how important it is to have faith in one's principles and priorities. No matter what the rest of the world feels, one must never give up on one's virtues and choices. I also realised one more subtle truth of life. I realised that it is good to vocalise one's honest thoughts about others' once in a while..In fact, more than that, one must make conscious efforts to peep into the minds and hearts of others' and dig out some relevant information pertaining to one's self!

No harm in getting some cruel jolts, in the very first brush with reality.
Remember, its better LATE than Never!

Having said that, I wouldn't mind confessing that it was tough, immensely tough!
I hated it, every bit of it. And it did waver my self confidence to some extent in the incipient stages. Though it wasn't late when I realised that it's no point getting immersed in retrospection just because some Tom, Dick or Harry found my nature objectionable!
As if, I care!
In fact why should I?, when I know that I wasn't even wrong completely and yet had to bear the brunt of all those misinterpretations!

Any ways, I am happy that I am out of it now!
Though it was a journey worth remembering. A journey from despair to hope, from dejection to reassurance. Somewhere down the lane, it did help me fall in love with myself all over again:)

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

A token of Thanks!

This post is a dedication! I dedicate it to all those people who have been immensely supportive and affectionate to me, in the recent days.

Sometimes, the truth is too hackneyed for words!
Sometimes I find myself fumbling for the right words and expressions to express my heartfelt gratitude towards certain people who make every possible attempt to make my life a little more easier and happier:)

My life has taken a blind-turn in the last few days! I don't really know that where am I heading to? or, What would be my next destination?
All I know is, that I am moving on and on, at an increasingly nervous pace like a rudderless boat oblivious to its direction and destination!
Its high time that I seek rather sieze, the answers to the above raised questions yet I am too complacent to fish for the right answers at this point of time.

I don't even know whether what all I am writing makes any sense or not, yet in my heart of hearts I just want to go on and on...

Anyways, retreating back to the flavour of the post, I would like to mention the names of a few people who moved my heart due to their inexplicabe love, affection, care, concern, encouragement etc, in the last few days.

  • My humble love and apologies to Prats. I know that I haven't been good to you in the recent times. Yet, the blessions and affections that you showered upon me are remembered and cherished every single day! Words would fail to describe how much change,your efforts bring about in my life.
  • Loads of love to Mum, for understanding me and letting me take control of my life and its decisions. I'll be eternally greatful to you for all that you've done and for all that you would keep doing:)
  • Countless hugs to Megha, for adding a smile to my face every single day! Trust me, I've rarely come across a person like you (minus your PJ's) in my entire life,who so ardently believes in the ritual of Giving. Giving, in terms of love, time and space.
  • Sincere thanks to Nousheen, for her unconditional support and encouragement in the office.(Yes, I have recently started with my first job, ever!) Thanks for retaining your composure despite constant queries and bickerings on my part. They truly mean a lot, and would be cherished throughout!
  • A speck of thanks, yeah, just a speck of thanks to Hater!, for being a little more patient, nicer and composed off-late!
  • Loads of hugs and poochies to Kritika for being by my side emotionally 24*7!!! I truly admire your stoic approach towards life and hope to grab some of it in the coming future:)
  • A zillion thank you's to Kamal bhaiya in the office, for those unlimited refills of water in the tumbler placed next to my workstation. Every time he refills my tumbler, I am moved to mixed feelings of appreciation and pity.Thanks to him that my water intake has increased considerably, in resonance with my doc's advice. I might never express my gratitude to him in person, but I sincerely admire and appreciate his efforts!
  • Countless thanks to Mehak and Arsh for being by my side, on and off.