Thursday, July 14, 2011

Moving on yet, standing still!

We all move on in life! Don't we?
It wouldn't be wrong to say that life is all about moving on!
Moving on towards an unseen, unheard and unpredictable future.

In my limited span of life, I've very often come across people struggling to move on with the vagaries and vicissitudes of life. Professional upheavals, familial obligations, guilt drains, break-ups, heartaches, failure phobias  - there may be a plethora of reasons. Though it is NOW that I realize how easy and difficult these are while preaching and practicing respectively! 

Given my current state of mind, I really Want to move on. Rather I badly NEED to move on yet somewhere something tugs at my heart and appeals me to hold on for just a bit longer.

Till this day I thought that only 'unsaid departures' hurt deep, but at this juncture I am being compelled to contemplate that what about the well-called-for departures? Don't they hurt as bad as the unsaid ones!

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Penancing Times

Just when I thought that my life was on a perfect ride under the perfect reins, destiny played its trick yet again. And why not?! Life never fails to follow its forever-cherished dictum - An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth!

I am sure I must have been incredibly indifferent/rude to someone or many, that I have been robbed off my all patience and good times. Life hits back, HARD!

Well, there are sane souls out there who tout me as 'inhuman' and unworthy of being a human let alone a girl. Honestly, I do feel there must be some truth in their arguments, some credibility in their anguish and a tremendous amount of hatred and hurt in their value judgements. Why on earth otherwise would someone hate someone else with such intensity and vigour?!

I have no clue as to what went wrong or where and in what intensity. Though I do feel strongly about the fact that if I alone am the cause of all their worldly suffering and misery, then I should better keep myself (my-evil-self) away from them. After all they too deserve their fair share of undiluted happiness and contentment in life.

I know it's not going to be easy keeping away.. yet it will at least render me some amount of satisfaction thinking that they'll be happier 'off' me. I had nobody practically nobody in this world to share this piece of news with, so thought of coming back to Nostalgic Reminiscences and crying my heart out. Though now that I am here, I feel almost blank and rudderless. Huh! I think not even this blog loves me any more!

P.S. - I am not surprised. May be, I deserve all the hatred.