Inspired by & submitted to,
The Story Teller.
(The Story Teller is a blog that prompts us to write short stories,in congruence with the theme that "Every picture tells a story!" This picture is this week's prompt,and here's my take on it.)
I forgot to mention,its my first attempt at story writing.Bear with me!
He kept staring at her pale and beautiful face, its beauty marred by the ever multiplying wrinkles and dark circles.As he sat still,admiring its fading beauty for one of the last times ever, memories of their togtherness began flooding his mind. It broke his heart to see the most beautiful woman of his life, at the threshold of death. It was emotionally draining and devastating for him. Being a neurosurgeon himself, he could do nothing to ensure her survival.A string of tears flew down his cheeks,as he held her fragile hand in his, perhaps for the last time ever.
At that very moment, as if guided by some divine inspiration, she opened her puffy eyes slowly, one by one. Basking in the glory of this treasured moment, he felt as if his heart almost skipped a beat. She tried to mutter a word or two. But, words betrayed her bereaved soul. Even he chocked back tears, as he spoke. But,all that he could say was, "You gave me everything..." Ironically, this mere sentence encapsulated all that he wnted to vent out.
For the next few moments,they communicated in a non-verbal language through Eyes. Their eyes conveyed everything, that had been left unsaid! His, conveyed his heartfelt gratitude towards her, for giving him a LIFE! His eyes were the embodiment of his admiration for the generous woman, who had given refuge to an unfortunate orphan, in her home years ago. His eyes thanked her for her unending, overwhelming love, care and affection that she had been showering upon him ever since.Just then, he noticed a stream of tears welling up in her eyes. With a tug at his heart, he kissed her pale forehead, and just as he was about to bid her a final adieu, he witnessed a tragedy of the worst magnitude. He hold onto her hand as she heaved her last breath, and her soul departed for the heaven. He stood there for a moment or two ,admiring his foster mother for one last time and questioning the untimely exit of his,Saviour!
Friday, April 10, 2009
The Final Goodbye!
Posted by Mohita Saxena at 2:19 AM
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12 comments:
wha yu wrote this?? or an draft from somewhere!! it truly is touchin!!
@Hary
This is a work of MY creativity.
I wrote it at a spur of moment!
That was indeed a very good story. Touching too. You should check out the story written by Tan on this prompt. It talks almost similarly.
A few spelling mistakes are there. Please take a look.
Thanks for participating. Next time, do mention that you are writing for Tell a Tale and not for me (lol) and also, link the name to my blog, so that people can check back.
Hope to see you participating more often. Check out the Leaderboard. You feature there too, now :)
Cheers!!
Very nice. I thought it was really interesting how you took a picture many of us know the story behind and changed it up. I really liked it! <3
It's a beautiful creation... I read another story on the same pic and I will not compare, because both are different genres... but it's honestly very lovely! :)
You shine.I enjoyed your story.I am new to this site too, read my first attempt.
A very touching story, and a good one for your first attempt. Keep writing, as the saying go ... you have lots of potential.
It was a nice story which can be turned into sumthing of a masterpeice if worked upon!!!!!! But nice work indeed!!
To me it looked like it was inspired by " The CURIOUS CASE OF BENJAMIN BUTTON""....!!
Beautifully written. Shows a real talent for writing. I found it interesting that you also saw a woman. Most of the others saw a man.
Keep writing, you have an ability to tell a story.
this was most touching of the three stories i read so far .. better than what i have written :)
for someone who is writing a story for the first time this is simply wow!
I've attempted this one too :)
hey!! extremely poignant this was..... very well written and beautiful vocabulary...! I loved it...and moreso, it doesnt seem as your first attempt at story writing!! and if it is, it was indeed beautiful!
Ps: I also made an attempt on this here... Hope to see you read mine!!
Enjoy...!
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