Harbinger of Heart....

There simply couldn't be a better way of venting out your feelings than presenting your loved and special ones with a Red Rose..!!

Trust me,
It Works..!!

Cheers!!!

Ultra blessed...

Friends.!

Friendship...

Celebrating the good times,

getting through the hard ones.

The Other side!

Distance matters.!!

Sometimes it takes more than a trillion years to take a Single Step,!

March ahead.!!

The civilisation would follow later.

Totally in sync with a popular punch line,

"Barriers break , when people talk."

So,,

"Let's talk".!!

A pleasant surprise!

It has been raining out here since last night.
I'm loving it.!!!
Guess there couldn't have been a better way of recharging myself.
An earnestly-waited sunday, late morning , the sound of thunder storms hitting the eardrums, the sight of raindrops hitting the ground, a mug of steaming coffee by my side. Now this is what I call life!!!
Serene , still and soothing.
As I lie mesmerised by the changing moods of nature, cuddled in my swing , a sudden wave of new, uninhibited vitality and unfathomable ecstacy rises within me. Baffled about choosing my new read, I skim through the covers of the few books lying by my side. Paulo Coelho's The Alchemist, Salman Rushdie's Haroun and the sea of stories , The Pakistani Bride and The Changeling... Still undecided, I aimlessly switch over to my cellphone. I skim through through the unread messages, shooting back replies to a few of them. Finally, having nothing to do, I start punching words onto this page.

There is something Special about this entire blogging concept. I feel so calm after voicing out my sentiments on this page. In a way, it lends a shape to my feelings.It quickens the pace of the thought process ,channelising my mental faculties. Makes me feel so light hearted and high spirited. I tend to feel secure that the present experiences of my life, wouldn't be squandered away uselessly. Rather, they would remain by my side, in the guise of heart-felt words and sentences, all through my life. Incase, I refer to them some years down the line, they wouldn't be devoid of their sheen and glory.
Like this amazing morning!

I Love Rains.!!

I love rains!! There is something special about them.! I keep pining foe them round the year 24*7. There is an exquisite aura about them that transcends me to imaginary thoughts. Right now, I am being reminded of a cute little nursery poem on Rains , that my mum often recited to me in my childhood.It goes something like.."Rain ,rain go away,

littli Johny wants to play..."

(Hmmm,, memories.

So beautiful, I tell you.)

In fact, there were a great many of them. "Johny johny...",, Humpty Dumpty..." ,, "Twinkle twinkle...".

I vividly remember a few downpours that I seemingly enjoyed during my childhood in Bhopal and Jabalpur, where I completed the early years of my schooling. These places were accustomed to sudden , frequent and torrential downours. That's probably how I nurtured my special bonding with the rains. I loved them then, I even do till this very moment.!!!

Those all-pervading memories of getting drenched in the rains while on way to school, pining foe slipping my hand out of the window of the bus, just to collect a handful of droplets,, getting down from the bus without covering myself under a raincoat or an umbrella,, jumping into the muddy puddles hand in hnd with Anshita , and then being perturbed by the itching sensation in the muddy shoes all through the school hours,, enjoying every inch of the classroom decorated with umbrellas and raincoats spread round the class in lieu of getting dried, running away to Mangal bhaiya during the recess to relish the delicious potato rolls in the misty weather.

Memories, I tell you.

Pricless!!!

Thank you, Christ Church Girl's Convent for such amazing memories.

Thank you, Anshita for being a special part of my life, Then, Now and Forever.!

Thank you all those friends who made this journy memorable; Akansha David, Anshu , Aesha, Jyotika Kohli, Meenal, Niyati, Saakshita, Pallavi, Esther, Neha Shrma, Richa, Shreya, Deepshikha Ghosh, Toshi, Hina...

Sorry, incase I have missed out anyone. It's been more than ten years since we met last. But the wonderful times that we shared still remain fresh in my memories.

Idyllic Thoughts...

As I try rewinding myself after an exhaustive day..I am impulsively hooked on to my i-pod. I beleive that there could be no better healer than Music at times like this..Music is truely endowed with an inherent charm , an unparalleled aura and colossal therapeutic virtues. As far as my memories take me, I have always regarded music as a surrogate mother..It has always worked for me. I have always experienced an immeasureable bliss in its varying moods.Right from the early years of my life, it has been my friend, philosopher and mentor..!!
I am trying to recollect and take down a safe note of all the melliflous melodies that have been enchanting me "kal,,aaj aur kal." Some of my favourites include:

Ajeeb dastaan hai ye,
kahaan shuru kahan khatam...

Everything I do...(Brian Adams)

Bulla ki jaana ...(Rabbi Shergill)

Aate jaate,hanste gaate ...Maine pyar kiya

Yaaron dosti badi hi...

Purani jeans aur guitar...

One Love... (My favourite)

Jaane kyun log pyar karte hain...

Yaadein yaad aati hain...

Pehla nasha... (Nothing can take away the charm of this song)

When you say nothing at all...

Teri Ore...

Jaane kyun dil janta hai, tu hai to...

Chhoti si asha...

Tujhe sab hai pata meri Maa... (It clogs my eyes with tears everytime I listen to it.)

Kuch kuch hota hai...

Dooba dooba rehta hun... (A rage in itself)

Jaane kya chahe mann baawara...

Ain't it funny... (Jennifer Lopez)

Ya rabba... (sentimental)

Listen to your heart...

Doorie... (Atif Aslam)

Right here right now...

Tum se hi...

O humdum soniyo re...

Aur aahista kijiye baatein... (Pankaj Udhaas)

Whenever wherever...

Aaoge jab tum o sajna...

Swear it again... (Westlife)

Luka chhupi...

Aao na.. (mesmerising)

Ye tumhari meri baatein...

I just wanna spend my life with you...

Kabhi kabhi aditi...

Baakhuda tum hi ho...

Khuda jaane...

Saawariya...

My heart will go on...

Tu bole main bolun...

Show me the meaning of being in love...

Jashn-e-bahara...

Bebot...

Nazrein milana...

Taare zameen par..

Ghar aaja soniya...

Jaane kya dhoonta hai...

Hum tum...
And the list is endless...
Goodnight folks...!!

Where am I heading to..?!!

Its ironical,,even after being Myself for more than two decades,,I am still at a loss to foresee my life even 5 years hence..!!!
Strange.!
Perplexing.!!
Appalling.!!!
Quite often these days,,when I sit and think about my life ahead,,an envelope of fear and uncertainity cocoons my vulnerable psyche..Contemplation leads to perplexity,,perplexity leads to fear.,,and finally, fear gives way to countless fazing thoughts.
Though, just a few months beforehand,,I would have never paid heed to such startling notions..I was one among those super zealous youngsters carrying glitterings dreams of a bright future ahead in my enthusiastic eyes.
Like others of the same age,,I also entertained high hopes of a personified existence. I cherished dreams of achieving everything that I ever dreamt of in the shortest span of time. I wanted to do so much for my parents,,my friends ,indeed myself and my prospective family ahead.! Wish I could do that even today.!!
One probable regret that I would always harbour in my heart is.................(Neah, forget it.)
As a child, I always made my parents feel proud of my achievements in academics , sports ,extracurriculars. The treasureable medals and certificates are undoubtedly, my most prized possessions till date. Since the age of 9-10, I aspired of becoming a Biotechnologist..My mother stood by my me,,fanning all my dreams and desires. My Dad too went a little too further in reciprocating my desires. I had almost reached my terminus,,when destiny played its part. I flipped my stream..Took up Journalism with high hopes of making it Big in the dominion of media and communication. Today, when I was about to reach my journey's end yet again , I find myself standing at the same cross-roads. The wide array of the available career options has muddled my determination. I am at a loss to choose among MBA , Media and Mass Communication , PR and Advertising , Master's in English Literature..
However,Whenever I dare to dust off my dreams, chasing away such filthy feelings..the fanciful thoughts of a mesmerising time ahead mellows my heart. So what if I am oblivious to my professional growth ahead,,so what if I am oblivious to my prospective family ahead. Whatever may be the circumstances, I would still lead my life in the same modus, in perfect synchronisation with my dreams..without a speck of bargain.!
I have alwys been perturbed by this over-rated statement,,often put up by friends , teachers n' elders.."Aena, where do you see yourself 5years down the lane..???.!!" Eehhhh...its pricking..!! But today,, I earnestly wish to decode this riddle..So,here goes a sober attempt...
Five years down the lane...
...........................???!!!!
Well,, seems like something illusory though.
But on a serious note, Definitely life would be a great deal easier..,,devoid of the present enigma.,,with all confusions sorted out,,and all fantcies attained.
I would be doing something substantial,, would be more independent , rather self-dependent..!! On a lighter note, I would be more responsible, my carefree attitude would have to be dispensed with.!! I would be shouldering the responsibilty of an entire family..In short, I would be set free from my present "aimless life of Nothingness!".
I would definitely have achieved More out of life,,rather More out of Me..!!

Reflections

As I bid adieu to the former year and welcome a fresh year with open arms...with eyes fraught with new fantacies, hopes and aspirations,, with heart brimming over with the trail of some truly unforgettable memories,,I am transcended to those wonderful times that were bestowed upon me in the preceeding year..2008 added yet another chapter to my ruminations. It offered a whole new array of roller coaster rides of experience..It was a superb mixture of some really fond moments,,special memories ,, new relationships,, new academic jumps,, coupled with a few strained and unwelcomed reminders as well,,for instance, fallouts with 2 precious friends,, sudden departure of a special friend,Rucheera ...
However,, with each passing year..I tend to realise the unpredictability of life and human behaviour more and more.
Some of my fondest memories of 2008 would include:

The incipient bonding with Smriti...we hit along quite instantly..She gave me some beautiful memories to cherish..The internship session in Big 92.7 fm,, hangouts at CCD, Fun Republic , Gopal's , HM's , PVR , Sindhi's shall always remain etched in my mind, the giggling times at the British library,, the notorious laughters at the cafetaria,, the day-long rides on the college swings ,, those never-ending gossips in the celebration grounds,, those incessant sms's ,, those evening chat sessions on orkut ,, those late night calls,, the unexpected shopping spells for accesories and bags,, exchanging unexpected yet frequent gifts.....I miss everything .. But interestingly,,I also admire the changed circumstances.We are no more "Friends"..yet whatever little times that we shared,,and the uncountable memories that we created will always be cherished..
Times change,, Memories don't..!!

I also fondly recollect my cyber-moments with my Bestest friend , Anshita...She's been my support system for more than 12 years in a row. She is a rockstar,, she is a charmer. Come what may,, she is one person,,who would Always stand by me..There is not a single speck of doubt about it..She is my mirror..she is the only one who has an access to the darkest secrets of my life..Inshah-allah,, we'll continue to share the same chemistry foe years to come..!!

I also treasure those few , rather countable moments that I shared with Ritika in Big 92.7 fm.
This girl is an embodiment of strength. She taught me many subtleties of life in an immensely short span of time. She is someone whom I would always look up to for advice and assisstance, in life. Her one particular advice "Be strong, emotionally" always hovers around my mind..I am even working upon it.,and the results have been amazing so far:)

Oh, this journey down the memory lane of 2008 would be incomplete without a special mention of someone very special in plentiful special ways..- Mehak,,urf ,,,"Kaddu". I met this innocent girl on my birthday..and got captivated by her magical spell instantly..She's my sweetheart.,,my adorable princess..She's more like an elder sister.. I treasure the beautiful memories that we created..The countless photographs,, countless sms's and the countless cares and concerns that we hold foe each other ,,are more than enough to keep the tree of our friendship intact.!

Some affectionate moments were spent with Noor also.,,surprisingly. We have been maintaining a Love-hate relationship for 3years now..though finally ,,finally we have started enjoying our relationship. There were plentiful fond moments with her too.For instance,,the disastrous get-togethers at CCD..Trust me,,they were Disastrous..!! The incessant tongue in cheek remarks round the year..But towards the end of the year,,we became really good friends,,yet again..!! We started relishing each other's company,helping out each other in times of need,,openly favouring each other..Memories multiplied quickly. We came closer..She often surprised me by dropping by unexpectedly at home, bringing a cute smile on my face..We would spend hours nagging each other ,, fighting over trivial issues , with occassional puns..What so ever,,I loved each and every bit of it..She was the only one with whom I would share all my self compiled notes , without my usual hesitance..Things became better when we caught up again in Dehradoon on Christmas..I had a time of a lifetime..She was a perfect host, for a change..(She had to be,,after all I had specially come down to her hometown)..It was fun..Her constant cares and concerns make me feel surprised even today,,bt now I have started valueing our relationship as much as she..All I can say is,"Nur,finally we Click!"...

Recollections..!

Proceeding with the same string of thoughts...

The wonderful memories of my college life shall always remain embedded in my soul..We shall remain united in thought, action and ailment..! My college life gave me many new reasons to smile..!! It introduced me to an entire unexperienced gamut of emotions..It endowed me with so many new chums..some of whom went on to become really special..!! Quite a lot of them.

It introduced me to an intricate web of interesting people..When I say interesting;I mean it in the literal sense.!! For instance,the functional english group..credited with the most eligible and scholarly students of the college,,undoubtedly, was a treat for the eyes..infact,,for the mind..because of the interesting mix of personalities that it harboured..We had a wonderful time interacting,,and exploring the various facets of each other's persona..

When we started out,,it was almost a Fiasco..but then,,before we could all realise ,the everyday motions of life took over. We began to fill the photo albums and create Memories..We began sharing secrets, and weaving dreams..We shared smiles and wiped away the tears..There was such an amazing chemistry between a few of us that the air seemed to crackle with electricity..!!We started venturing out of our cocoons and began exploring one another's realm....and ovr the minutes,weeks and years,,we built layers and layers of memories..! We started communicating in a non-verbal language consisiting of rolling eyes, shoulder shrugs and waving palms..From being perfect strangers ,,we became perfect friends..!!! Absolutely.."perfect friends" encapsulates it all.!

As nuggets of nostalgic reminiscences come forth,,memories touch the expanse of those countless moments spent together..Moments of those occassional laughters,,well-planned mass bunks,,falling out over trivial issues,,coffee breaks in winters,,bumping into each other in the library,,admiring one anothers attires,,accessories and handbags :),,sharing jittery nervousness in the examination halls,,chat sessions on orkut and facebook,,hunting foe notes,,late night sms's,,excitement during the festivities,,amazing group discussions,,discussion ovr those impending homeworks and projects,,And those countless occassions that moved us to laughter and tears......the list is Endless.!! When I look back and recollect those beautiful memories...They leave me Speechless.!

Lemme now introduce my Functional English or we fondly say,,Funky mates in a nutshell:) Our batch was a fascinating bunch of around 35 young ladies:) Here goes some interesting facets of their personalities...

Neha- Miss adorable,, cute, smart ..!

Anuradha- Aah,,she was undoubtedly,,"The Performer" of our group..Be it sports,,dramatics,,singing,,dancing..she is a bundle of talents..!! And surprisingly,,equally remarkable in studies as well.

Swati Paliwal- Shy, reserved . But endowed with a superb sense of self dignity and alienation from the rest. I wonder why she keeps underestimating herself,,all the time.??. In a few things,,she deserves my admiration.{Well,,this is a confession:)}

Sumiti - Sweet,, serene ,,"Miss Brainy of our class"... I admire here for her remarkable sense of simplicity and softness.

Pallivi - Gorgeous,, "Mistress of Killer looks"..

Natasha - Sweet, innocent, soft spoken but utterly Amazed , Dazzled and Confused with even the minutest familiarities of life..

Prigya - Chirpy, pretty, bubbly... Be aware here innocent looks are totally infectious and deceptive:) she's a sweetheart.. with well defined goals in life..I am sure she has a Long way to go,,in the judicial kingdom..!!

Sabrina - Prigya's roomie:)...SMART,, soft spoken..with an admirable dress-sense.

Mohita - Hey,,Don't you think that the self-congratulatory references to one's own achievements just don't spell class:)..!!! Kidding:)No descriptions regarding myself..Would deal with it ,,in detail,, some other time..

Prabhnoor - Intriguing,, smart,, bubbly.. We have been sharing a love-hate relationship over the years..Though i believe that love has finally taken over.. She is simply unpredictable...but bubbly otherwise.

Arpan - The newly wed damsel of our class.!! She is gifted with an attractive personality,, good communication skills...We missed you this year..Mrs. Arpan:)

Surbhi - Cute:)

Alisha - Sweet,, intelligent ,, chirpy..!!

Shruti - A great person at heart but hugely misunderstood.. Immensely emotional,, helpfull..A happy-g0-lucky kinda person..!! Love ya..!

Tanya - The fragile damsel of our class...Highly soft spoken and sophisticted..!

Aditi - Strong,tough, smart..with a peculiar sweetness..!! An amazing representation of a modern girl..!

Diksha - Sweet, reserved with a latent chirpiness..She mostly communicates with her "Colgate smile ".

Aishwarya - A beauty par excellence.. No further comments.

Priyanka - Perfect communication skills.,,intriguing personality.

Varsha - Simple...sweet,, diligent.. with an unbridled spirit to achieve Big in life..!! Sometimes,, I feel that she could be an excellent journo..!

Smriti - Adorable,, highly organised and sophisticated.. A perfect support system foe her friends..

Swati 2 - Pretty,, smart...(hey don't take it as "pretty smart").. with aspirations of achieveing Big..!! Endowed with a brilliant mind....though she doesn't takes it that seriously..I hope she does..! She is a complete sweetheart..with a potential of achieving mammoth success in future.

Zoya - Admirable,, reticent.."Miss Frankness"..I absolutely admire this trait of her's..!! She talks straight..No double standards..! A superb illustration of a true friend..

Aastha - Smart,, confident.. An amazing person to interact with.

Kanishka - Bubbly,, chirpy...the "teddy bear" of our class....extremely sensitive and emotional..A great person at heart..!

Niharika - Shy, serene...a silent observer.. Endowed with a beautiful personality.

Shweta - one of the most Interesting one ... she's the "Little Einstein" of our class...shes drives us crazy with her out-of-the-world questions.. Very emotional and affectionate..embodiment of unbridled vitality..and an urge to seek more. She has the confidence of facing even the most embaressing situations of life with an undeterred spirit. I Salute her for this..!!

No rhyme or reason..!!

Finally...the endless series of examz came to a subtle standstill..

Giving me reasons to relax and Breathe..!! Feeling so rejuvenated..

The Functional Viva was as rocking as expected....infact..a little Nostalgic too..

Brought back memories of the wonderful years that I had spent in this college..Perhaps,,these were the Last internals that we had..I would be passing out within a span of 3-4 months..leaving behind a trail of unforgettable memories..

I have had some really treasureable moments..

Love-hate relationships with friends.

Impeccable bonds with the teachers.

Indelible memories of cafetaria,,gymnasium,,rock climbing,,Functional english lab(My permanent Hideout),,the solitary swing,,vatika,,those intriguing cane-huts,,celebration grounds,,the library..

and Everything else that connected me with the college in ways more than one..

I had been dreading the Parting days since the very first year...bt the inevitable time beckons me now..

I have determined to face it boldly..bt I am aware that no amount of preparations,,rehersals or words would stand by my side when the Day would finally arrive..!!

It breaks my heart to contemplate about it..!

Aah..Why good things in life always come to an end..??!!!