Moving on yet, standing still!

We all move on in life! Don't we?

It wouldn't be wrong to say that life is all about moving on!

Moving on towards an unseen, unheard and unpredictable future.

In my limited span of life, I've very often come across people struggling to move on with the vagaries and vicissitudes of life. Professional upheavals, familial obligations, guilt drains, break-ups, heartaches, failure phobias  - there may be a plethora of reasons. Though it is NOW that I realize how easy and difficult these are while preaching and practicing respectively! 

Given my current state of mind, I really Want to move on. Rather I badly NEED to move on yet somewhere something tugs at my heart and appeals me to hold on for just a bit longer.

Till this day I thought that only 'unsaid departures' hurt deep, but at this juncture I am being compelled to contemplate that what about the well-called-for departures? Don't they hurt as bad as the unsaid ones!

Penancing Times

Just when I thought that my life was on a perfect ride under the perfect reins, destiny played its trick yet again. And why not?! Life never fails to follow its forever-cherished dictum - An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth!

I am sure I must have been incredibly indifferent/rude to someone or many, that I have been robbed off my all patience and good times. Life hits back, HARD!

Well, there are sane souls out there who tout me as 'inhuman' and unworthy of being a human let alone a girl. Honestly, I do feel there must be some truth in their arguments, some credibility in their anguish and a tremendous amount of hatred and hurt in their value judgements. Why on earth otherwise would someone hate someone else with such intensity and vigour?!

I have no clue as to what went wrong or where and in what intensity. Though I do feel strongly about the fact that if I alone am the cause of all their worldly suffering and misery, then I should better keep myself (my-evil-self) away from them. After all they too deserve their fair share of undiluted happiness and contentment in life.

I know it's not going to be easy keeping away.. yet it will at least render me some amount of satisfaction thinking that they'll be happier 'off' me. I had nobody practically nobody in this world to share this piece of news with, so thought of coming back to Nostalgic Reminiscences and crying my heart out. Though now that I am here, I feel almost blank and rudderless. Huh! I think not even this blog loves me any more!

P.S. - I am not surprised. May be, I deserve all the hatred.

Thus, spoke my head!

Strange are the ways of life. Every time we begin to feel that the going is right, life topsy turvys it all. The topic of contemplation that is infuriating my grey cells today is the sanctity of human relationships ;-)

There are time when I am forced to wonder how 'close' is actually close when it comes to bonding between/among friends? Going by the same conventions, how 'true' is actually true and how 'fake' is actually fake when it comes to opinionated differences among friends? We are taught ever since our pre-nursery days that friendship is perhaps, the most beautiful intangible creation of mankind on the face of this earth, and that, friends are meant to stand by each other NO MATTER WHAT! But how relevant are these age old dictums in the face of the present times?

I personally fail to feel their presence in the moderately large web of friends that I move around in. The glorified notions of loyalty, perseverence, trust seem to have been hibernating for quite some time now.. Most of us aren't even aware of such voids and the marginally few, who are, fail to make any sort of amends on their end to bring back the bright old lustre to the once-revered relationships.

I personally opine that being frank and outright is definitely way better than being a lousy-mouse waiting for the right moment to act!

A Token of Thanks!

Nostalgic Reminiscences is slated to reach it's 100th post shortly! :)

Fellow bloggers, I am sure, would understand the whirlpool of frenzied excitement rampant in my heart on achieving this landmark!

As luck had it, this blog could have reached its maiden century way back, had I not abandoned it all of a sudden. However, as destiny played its part, I am back here yet again waiting to be enthralled by its silent razzmatazz. However, I won't really give away all the credit to the destiny alone. I need to mention here, someone without whose encouragement and peppy motivation, my come back wouldn't have been possible so soon.

I don't really know whether he would appreciate this gesture on my part or not. Hence, I wouldn't take the liberty of disclosing his identity as yet. He's a new friend, the latest addition in my league of friends.. a common friend who transcended to the status of a sweet, nagging companion in an impressively short span of time. I don't think that I'll ever be able to voice it out in person or not, so I am scribbling my heartfelt gratitude for him right here, right now!

Dear friend, thanks a lot for taking the pains of going through every single post of mine listed here. I was and still am in awe and absolutely overwhelmed by this ultra cute gesture of yours, to say the least. I still am at a loss to figure out what actually drove you to this place. I've rarely come across anyone who showed such a keen interest in my insights. I am still groping in the dark trying to figure out what really made you take the trouble of going through every single entry of mine posted here.. No one has ever done that before, and I have no idea whether anyone would do it in the future or not. :P:D After all who really is cranky enough to read crankier things written by a slipshod like me?!! ;P:P:P

I would have loved to know your answers but since I see you getting geared up for your dream destination ahead, I don't really think it's feasible on my part to tickle your mind with my silly inquiries.. I am sure the tough journey ahead wouldn't spare you the time or energy to visit this place again..

I would like to thank you from the bottom of my heart for this truly amazing gesture. I am thoroughly touched and humbled by this maiden favor accorded to me, and would treasure it for years to come..

P.S. - Every time I now visit my blog, more often than once I think of you and your ultra sweet gesture and find myself thanking you from the deepest core of my heart.

Thanks, for reconnecting me to my world! :)

Fragments of Reminiscences

While browsing through the message folders of my cellphone, I stumbled upon a few messages sent by a once-great-friend of mine. Life is queer and you never really know what the future has in store for you! The entire equation from strangers to friends, friends to buddies, buddies to the best of friends seems a little dubious to me, most of the times.

Anyhow, as my eyes chanced upon her messages, whiffs of memories came gushing forth.. I just thought of preserving the last remnants of a-once-beautiful relationship here, on my treasured space..

"I luv you maggie :-) thanks for making me feel so special.. And who says that the day was dull ?? You truly made my day.. I kept you waiting but chalta hai ;-) I dunno if you ll remember me some years down the line bt i always will .. :-) my mom and nanu are very happy for u did so much for me... And i really value those people who bring a smile on their faces and you just did that!! Thanks, and u'll always have me around.... Always :-) love"

This message had been sent on Feb 02, 2010. her b'day..

A lot has changed since then. And we have moved on happily with our no-talking-pact.

A New Wave

Life is on the verge of a new tide. A new wave of renewed hopes with fresh promises is about to hit the shore of life. I'm about to get into my second year of Post Graduation. This might in fact, be my last year as a full-fledged student. I might study ahead, I might not! Speculations are rife and many..

There are times when I speculate about the future course of life..looking quizically at the times to come. How similar or different they would be with respect to my present life.. Since the thoughts are not really welcoming, I often prefer to dispel them.

However, sooner or later life WILL take a new course irrespective of what I feel or want .. and I would be compelled to follow its destined mayhem.

Till then, too much to think! ecisions are tough and impending..

Blogger's Retreat!

Dear Nostalgic Reminiscences,

I know it's been quite some while since I made an appearance here.

Somehow for reasons yet not deciphered, I just lost the vigor to write anymore.

The hibernation lasted for over 100 days, I believe.. It goes without saying that during this brief interval, never even for a second did I forget the rejuvenation and solace that you endowed upon my poor self during the trying times.

Life did bring it share of ups-and-downs, mostly ups actually.. and I did feel like coming back to you and pouring it all out in a go.. Bt then..

Anyways!!

The news is that I'm back and this time with renewed vitality and enthusiasm. All this while, there had been friends and well wishers who kept refueling my spirits to return on my blogging spree. To my utter surprise, off late I came across an enthusiastic friend, who had the patience and inquisitiveness to read all, yes, I mean ALL my posts from bottom to top, in a perfect chronological order. May be, it was his enthusiasm that made me reconnect with you today or may be, it probably was the destined time for our reunion..

Finally, I am back.. with a promise of rebonding with you with even greater perfection and vivacity this time. :)

Cheers to this new beginning!

The Magic of womanhood!

Crippled by the storms of life,

debilitated by the mockeries of fate,

she waits in excited reverie,

for the halo of the imminent blessedness,

to embrace her into itself,

for now and for ever!

Such is the beauty of faith! Such is the aura of the working of a female's mind.

She longs to see a ray of hope amidst a canopy of dense darkness...an epitome of unflinching hope.. such is her zest for survival!

Love Redefined!

A thousand unspoken words,

a deluge of unbridled emotions,

an enigma of frenzied ecstasy,

a sky of countless ephemeral dreams,

a land of unheard symphonies,

an exquisite twinkle in the eye,

an indelible smile on the lips

the world calls it love,

I beg to differ here,

for,

I call it,

pursuit of happiness!

Love is in Me!

Don't get too carried away with the ironical title of this post!

It has got nothing to do with my being in love. Rather it's just a cheesy way of casting away the volley of frequent questions and queries, that are often pelted at me by my near and dear ones! ;-)

Yes, to put it upfront;

I might not be in love, but love certainly is in me! (*evil laughter!)

Well, its Valentines! Like every year, it did create ripples of nervousness and excitement in my mischievous heart and like any other year, I preferred not to reciprocate the proposals coming my way, for reasons still unknown and undisclosed to my heart!

Guess my heart is still at the waiting end for My Special Someone! My senses are yet to encounter the reverberations of his destined arrival in my life... and then, for reasons unfathomable, I relish clinging on to my fate waiting for his grand entry with baited breath! :-)